Both of their minds are thinking the same thing, and both of them are afraid to say it.They silently lie with their arms around each other and kissing for half an hour or more. Allie is the first one with the courage to speak. "Jerry was wonderful tonight, Jill," she says."Yeah, Jerry sure did have his fun, didn't he? You were insatiable tonight, Allie. I never imagined you could be such a hot slut in bed. And I mean that in a good way." I know you do, Jill. Sometimes I need to be a slut. There's nothing wrong with being a slut for an evening, depending on who you're being a slut with." I know, right? You made me feel like such a stud, I actually enjoyed being Jerry again. But I don't want to stay Jerry. I'm Jill now, and I always will be." I know you are, Jill. But you're not my little sister anymore." Why?"Allie's eyes begin to tear up. "Because, in this short time we've been together, you've grown up before my eyes. I don't see you as my little sister anymore. I just see you as. If I went through with this, if I let Michael enter my womanhood, we would move past the petting and exploration that we enjoyed to becoming ‘lovers’ in every sense of the word. Would we live to regret this? Was society correct? Would this forever scar each of us emotionally? On an objective and intellectual level, I knew that someday we would have to move on. Michael and I could not be a couple. Society would not permit it. We would always be forced to keep our relationship and our intimacies secret. We could not live as man and wife, we could not hold hands walking down the street, or contemplate having children. These were activities we would have to reserve for other people, not each other. As the plane hummed along at 40,000 feet, I knew that allowing Michael and my relationship to progress to the point that we were having actual intercourse would make the eventual cessation of our intimacies even more painful and difficult. Nonetheless, I knew that I wanted my stepbrother to.
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